


Snickers Bars and Demonic Boyfriends

by Queen_Haise_Sassan



Series: Something Sweet [3]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 12:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9272048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Haise_Sassan/pseuds/Queen_Haise_Sassan
Summary: Bill doesn't have a sense of time, Dipper has no forethought, but the main question is: How long can you live off of a Snickers Bar?





	

Dipper was lost. He’d been lost for hours at this point and he still wouldn’t quite let himself admit it. The kind of lost that he was wasn’t the old run of the mill ‘I made a wrong turn’ lost. No, that would be too easy, now wouldn’t it? Dipper Pines was ‘I took a wrong turn, tripped, slid down a hill, fell into a pond, got chased by an angry pack of fairies, and then took another wrong turn’ lost. He’d been content to keep wandering for a while until he felt something watching him. He knew that it was tracking him but he wasn’t sure why. Honestly, he didn’t think he really wanted to find out. Well, and the fact that the only food he had was a Snickers Bar. The boy decided to just focus on fighting the urge to scramble up the nearest tree and yell for Bill. The little blonde would never let him live it down.  
Dipper smiled fondly as he thought of the adorable demonic nuisance, more commonly known as Bill Cipher. He had pissed Bill off before breakfast had even begun that morning. Bill had woken Dipper up earlier by pinching his arms and singing something about murder at the top of his lungs. Naturally, he shoved Bill off the bed and quickly hid under the blanket to brace himself against the oncoming storm.  
“Seriously, Pine Tree! That frigging hurt. My feelings, my pride, and my leg all hurt now. I think I’m dying.” A high-pitched whine and a few curses later, Bill was back on the bed.  
“Seriously, Cipher? It’s your fault for waking me up at ass o’clock in the morning. You didn’t even do it nicely! You just brutally attacked me.” Bill rolled his eyes and reclined back on the bed. Dipper sighed and decided to just quietly wait to see what the demon wanted so that he could go back to sleep. Maybe in the morning he could get Bill to let him into the Mindscape. He’d always wanted to see Bill’s personal section of the strange dimension.  
“Are you even listening to me?” Bill was propped up on his elbows and glaring at him. Dipper smiled sheepishly and motioned for Bill to continue whatever he had been saying. “Long story short I called you a grandma, told you to get up, and said that you owed me for shoving me off the bed like a brute.”

“You owe me! You woke me up for no apparent reason other than to tick me off. Which by the way, you’ve succeeded so shut up and let me go back to sleep.” Bill huffed as Dipper rolled over and shoved his head under his pillow. Morning be damned, he was sleeping past noon.

“This time there was a reason for me to wake you up so get up.” Bill let out a frustrated whine as Dipper made no move to get up. “I’m warning you, Pines! Don’t make me do it.” Bill said and snapped his teeth threateningly. Dipper huffed and stayed buried under his pillow and blankets.

“You wouldn’t dare little demon. Try it and I’ll spray you with holy water. Don’t you remember the last time?” He smiled smugly as Bill growled indicating that he did indeed remember the last time. Bill had been so angry that he’d accidentally set his own shirt on fire. Mabel thought the entire fiasco was completely hilarious and had recorded everything. Stan had tried to put him out but he’d accidentally grabbed the bottle of holy water to do it which had pissed Bill off even more and made the fire get even bigger. Finally, Ford had just picked Bill up and tossed him into Mabel’s pink kiddy pool.

Dipper’s internal musing was interrupted when Bill barked out an angry, _'Try me!’_ and had tried to yank his blankets off. He peeked out from under his pillow to see that his tiny boyfriend was getting extremely irritated as his usually gold eyes had turned blue. Yeah, he didn’t want to deal with that. He quickly put his head back under the pillow.  
Bill grabbed Dipper’s pillow and he yelped as his sleepy brown eyes met angry blue ones. Sharp teeth sunk into his newly exposed shoulder and he shoved Bill off in a panic. Bill’s wide blue eyes turned gold and he hit the floor for the second time that morning. Dipper cringed and decided that since he was probably about to die he ought to have finished teaching Mabel how to take care of Bill. The demon was extremely needy and Dipper couldn’t be around all the time. Mabel and Bill were close so she suggested that he just teach her how to do it. His twin was the best sister he could ever ask for.  
“Dipper Pines!” Bill shot up from the floor gripping Dipper’s pillow in his hands. “Get up right this instant or you don’t get to touch me for a month!” The blonde whacked him in the head with the pillow a few times as Dipper had seemed to be mulling the punishment over in his mind instead of getting up.  
“Alright I’m up!” Dipper sat up and immediately got smacked in the face with his pillow. Bill looked surprised that Dipper had given up so quickly as he slid under the blanket and into the teen’s lap. Said teen was seriously considering pushing Bill onto the floor again because it was just way too early for any of this but ultimately decided to let his demon be as Bill cutely pushed his face into the crook of Dipper’s neck and grabbed one of his hands. Dipper intertwined their fingers and sighed at his boyfriend’s antics.

“So, are you awake enough to talk to me now? Just kidding, of course you’re awake enough. You just lost a vicious battle of will. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I have something to do today so I won’t be able to do movie day with you and Mabel. It’ll have to be a movie night or something I guess.” Dipper snorted.  
“You have something to do?” Dipper asked incredulously. Bill growled and bared his teeth at him and he laughed as he kissed Bill on the cheek. “I just meant that you usually don’t do much that doesn’t involve me or Mabel. Besides burning things down. Wait, you’re not going to burn something down, are you?”  
“If I have to.” Bill looked up at him with an alarmingly serious expression.  
“Bill, we’ve gone over this. If someone pisses you off, you can’t hurt them.” Bill opened his mouth and Dipper quickly shook his head. “Or kill them.”  
“What do you mean by hurt? Like, physically right? I can do that. Maybe. If I’m in a good mood.” Bill looked thoughtful as Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Bill, it’s four in the morning and I honestly can’t even begin to understand your train of thought.” Dipper gently slid the demon out of his lap and laid back against the pillows, pulling Bill down with him. Bill shifted until his back was flush against Dipper’s chest. “Let’s just go to sleep. We can talk in the morning.”  
“Fine, Pine Tree. Anything for you.” Bill laced their fingers together and they fell into an easy sleep.  
When Dipper had woken up that morning Bill was already gone. With nothing else to do he had decided to go explore the woods until Bill got back. Going into the more dangerous part of the woods by himself didn’t seem to be the best idea. He wondered how long a Snickers Bar could sustain someone’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> How will our favorite nerd get out of this one? Oh, thank you Lexi and Marley for reading it! Both of you are cute and I appreciate you.


End file.
